I'm posting at yogagrrl.wordpress.com which (thanks to setfiretolife) can also be found at yogagrrlrss.

For those still interested, I'm posting over at yogagrrl.wordpress.com

Every yoga teacher has a slightly different style (no matter where they were schooled, or which yoga philosophy they follow) and it's difficult to find someone who meets your needs. Some demonstrate too much, some talk too much (rather than having you 'do' at the same time), some teachers try to explain EVERYTHING, some don't explain enough, some don't give modifications, and sometimes it's just someone you don't *click* with.

That last thing almost sounds trivial compared to the rest but it's really not. I've found that if the teacher isn't engaging me the right way, or if there's not something I can identify with, I'm just less comfortable in the class. That's where all the rest of that stuff comes in.

If I'm not 100% comfortable with a teacher, but leave the class feeling like I did the kind of work I wanted to do, or had the kind of options I needed, I'll stick around until the teacher grows on me. (They will, eventually - we're kind of like mold. Really optimistic mold.) But if I'm not engaged by the teacher and feel kind of frustrated in the class, or leave feeling like I've wasted my time, I won't come back again.

Harsh, right? But completely true. It's a market economy and, if there's any local competition, those students go elsewhere.

Interestingly enough, most of that discomfort can be alleviated if the students speak up. Teachers stand at the front of the room (or walk around) and talk through most of a class, but yoga STUDENTS rarely communicate with their teachers. Many times students (myself included) are uncomfortable, or not sure they're doing something right, or didn't completely understand the instructions, and DON'T ASK.

That's what I'm there for. If I'm leading a class, I WANT you to ask questions. I don't find it distracting or disconcerting. The old adage of, "If you have a question, someone else probably wants the answer too" is ABSOLUTELY correct. And I would MUCH rather have a student question me during class than risk potential injury. Because teachers can see when you're doing something grievously wrong and correct it (and should) but our individual anatomy is just that - individual.

I can't tell where your line between discomfort and pain is and I can't tell if you're pushing through it. I WANT you to tell me because I can HELP. I can give you different options. Teaching can be terrifying in that all of the people in the room trust you, but you have to trust them RIGHT BACK. I know I'm not going to let you injure yourself if I can prevent it, but I can't tell if you'll help me prevent your injury.

If you've got requests for things you'd like to work on, I love to have students share that with me (before OR after class). I frequently solicit input DURING classes to see where everyone is, how warm they are, if they're ready to move on or not. I think of yoga classes as choose-your-own-adventure. I don't do ashtanga because I don't WANT the same class every time I show up. I like variety. I like interaction. And I like when my students let me know what THEY want.

I know that not all classes are like that. There are absolutely classes where instructors 'frown' on students speaking up or asking questions. To those students, I say find a new teacher. Find someone who is willing to interact with you and answer the questions that YOU think are important.

It's okay if you don't like my classes. If you give me feedback, I'll try to improve for you. But if you don't enjoy something, you won't keep doing it and I would much rather have you check out another teacher than stop doing yoga altogether.

Someone in yoga posted about atheism and yoga, what to make of all the texts that read with a religious slant. I chimed in with this:

"When texts refer to 'divine' I usually read it as higher consciousness - not a god, but my own higher consciousness, the one that is above petty human foibles: the best possible me."

I like that yoga makes me feel like I'm stretching my mind as well as my body, that by focusing inward I had be a better person outwardly. Hopefully that's what I manage to convey in my classes.

I also laugh a lot and make jokes in my classes. As I told my students tonight - anything you take TOO seriously stops being fun.

I  was fairly unadventurous in my yoga exploration of Boston though, in my own defense, I was only there for three and a half days.

I'd gotten recommendations from yoga and had already decided to check out karma yoga due merely to its proximity to the hotel. My intention was to take a couple of classes each day but that didn't quite work out. I did attend two of Elizabeth's Anusara-style classes (Thursday and Saturday). I thoroughly enjoyed the classes, which were challenging and engaging. Elizabeth was fantastic - personable, approachable, and encouraging. She described everything quite thoroughly and finally got me to lift my chest in down dog. I also managed to get into feathered peacock away from the wall for the first time in her class. I was pretty stoked. I really liked the work-on-your-own inversions.

I also really liked the location and tea shop. It was open and welcoming, nice clean spaces.

The other studio was Back Bay Yoga, chosen because it was near the convention center where C and H had their meetings. Directions were really easy from the T and the class I chose was Hip Hop Yoga. The class is billed as vinyasa and Forrest yoga. I hadn't tried a Forrest class before and the real gist of the class was loud hip hop music. Due to the music, Caroline (not the regular teacher) told us she'd be explaining less so we could enjoy the tunes.

First, the room was heated. I'm not used to practicing in a heated room (80 degrees in this case) and don't generally choose to because I generate plenty of heat on my own. The class was really challenging and used some variations I was unfamiliar with. Asana names were the English translation, which I like. It was billed as an all-levels class but there were some asanas which I think would have made new practitioners a bit uncomfortable. I'm not new, so it  was a non-issue. There *were* some asanas that I was unfamiliar with (or particular variations) and because there was less explanation, I had to watch the rest of the room to figure out what I was doing.

I worked up hella sweat and was glad at a couple of points that my hips are pretty open because it meant in a few stretches (like triangle) I could reach down and mop my face off with my pantleg. In down dog, I was sweating so much that it ran up my neck and over my chin. Meanwhile, the girl next to me didn't look like she broke a sweat the whole time.

I'm pretty sure it's because of the location (near Berklee Music School) but there seemed to be a LOT of dancers in the class. The studio itself is a cute third floor walkup above a pizza place. The practice room has a few icons and the studio has props for students to use, which was super convenient.

All in all, the yoga was great in Boston. I'd been tempted (ever so briefly) by the nearby Bikram studio but after my Hip Hop class I was more convinced than ever that Bikram would not be for me.

I brought back some ideas from both classes that I really liked and this week made a hip-hop disc of my own to use during class. It's been pretty popular, so I'll post the playlist a bit later.

I know I haven't done a Boston yoga recap yet (and I will, I promise) but I had a massage today that was AWESOME. She pounded me like a side of beef and it was fantastic.

Generally (and today was no exception) I warn the masseuse that I can withstand a lot of pressure. I really like deep tissue massage and for some reason people tend to hold back on me. The woman today did not. She started out at about 2/3 full pressure and when I told her she could turn it up, she didn't disappoint. In fact, at one point on my calves, it was almost painful. I loved it.

There was an excellent bit with either her knuckles or (more likely) the heels of her hands digging down the sides of my spine. If I could teach M to do that, I'd die a happy woman. She also used her forearms to great effect, both on my back and my legs.

And then she did the back of my neck!  My tension always stores up in the same spot so the neck part wasn't super spectacular- I mean it was great, but the typical amount of great that I usually get. But THEN- she pulled on my ears. Pulled the tops, the bottoms, and then the backs of my ears, stretching all around the side of my head. AND THEN SHE PULLED MY HAIR. IT WAS AMAZING. Like, BEST EVER amazing. No one has ever done that to me in a massage before. It might be the thing that makes me keep coming back to her.

She totally stretched every bit of skin around my head and it was phenomenal. By the time she got to my feet, I was nearly unconscious. And when I got off the table, I felt like I'd had a full night's sleep.

For some reason, massage therapists always think it's kind of funny when yoga or Pilates instructors come in for massage (again, today was no exception). The way I look at it, yoga tends to massage from the inside. You're using isometrics to bring your bones and muscles closer to one another. Massage is almost the opposite (for me) - it's like trying to separate the muscle from the bone in order to let it fit back together more easily.

I never feel as much like a meat suit as when I get a massage and I love that feeling. Because then, when you get up to leave, you're back to feeling like the meat suit is more a part of you again and it fits more comfortably.

Of course, then I did the thing you're not supposed to do. I went to Bennigans for a late lunch with M and had green beer and fish and chips. I mean, I did have a glass of water but beer is supposed to be a no. On the other hand, it's a Pope-magic holiday- how could I not?

So now I'm going to mani/pedi myself and drink tea and water.

So I think I'm going to attempt week to of C25k outdoors.

C25k update: Tonight I did the full five minute warm up. Then I did about 25 minutes of run/walk combo. I maintained a 60 second sprint lap (200 meters) through the whole workout, which I was pretty impressed with. When I got done, I was tired but energized (again). Apparently interval work really agrees with my system.

I had a slight scare last night. After I got home from my C25k, it felt like I had a slight pull in my groin. I spent last night (all night) with the heating pad on it and when I woke up this morning, it was fine. I was extra relieved because I knew I wanted to get a workout in today (before I spend time on a plane tomorrow).

With any luck, the hotel gym will have a track and I can run there. If not, I'm all yoga all weekend.

Even managed to update my Sparkpage! I feel efficient!

After a week of being out of commission, I did another Couch to 5k session this morning. I started running at 10:51 and wrapped up at about 11:15. I did a couple minutes warmup before running but only a couple of minutes. I didn't need much warm up because I was annoyed about the religion freaks who accosted me at work.

As previously, when I got done I felt energized rather than tired. I felt like I'd done a fair amount of work and, especially having been sick, it wasn't quite as bad as I expected it to be.

I don't know that Spark is helping me drink more water or eat better, but I'm at least logging in with some regularity.

That my fun project for spring break will be to burn no less than three rock/pop CDs for my yoga classes. I'm worn out with the new age remix stuff. Goals: 1 metal cd, 1 hairband cd, and 1 70s disc.

Have acquired a lovely head cold. I'm hoping it doesn't develop much past that. Luckily (or unluckily?) I've got my first Monday morning Power Yoga tomorrow. I've also got an exam tomorrow evening, so that should be fantastic. It has taken me off the Couch to 5K plan for the moment but ideally I'll rebound soon.

I've been looking at attending a yoga conference this y ear. Because of my teaching schedule, the summer would work better and the Midwest Yoga Conference fits that particular bill. Unfortunately, it's hella expensive. Unlike theyogaconference (which takes place in Toronto) you pay by the day rather than by the session/hours you're taking. There are some great workshops and I'd like to attend - it's been a while since I've taken anyone else's yoga class - but I'm having a hard time justifying the expense.

On the bright side, I'll be in Boston in a couple of weeks and able to take a slew of classes there. I found a studio that offers a number of styles (at a variety of times) so I'm excited to get some new idea influx from that. I may have to take a look around and see if I can't locate some workshops and intensives nearby (within the state) but not living on a coast makes that a bit more challenging.

Random (and somewhat related) note: When watching the Oscars, I'm frequently distracted by the horrifyingly bad posture of actresses in evening gowns.

I did my first session on Wednesday and ran into (heh!) my first problem.

I don't jog. I walk or I sprint. Probably if someone was working out WITH me, I could jog, but otherwise not so much.

That means, rather than jog/walk intervals, I did sprint/walk intervals. It was great. It was funny how my energy cycled during the 20 minutes - after some walk sessions I was faster/slower. When I got done with the workout, I was energized rather than exhausted.

Due to the teaching of 2nd graders yesterday, I did not do my session. The session I do today will probably be late (if at all) and I'll definitely do a session tomorrow morning. Since I was doing sprint/walk rather than jog/walk, I don't think missing one session will throw me too much off the pace.

I still love my Vibram Five Fingers. Adore them. And frankly, my calves are STILL sore today. That tells me that whatever I was doing in previous running workouts was clearly not getting the job done.

I spoke to my sister today, for the first time since the holidays. She's decided on a change in her path of studies (to psychology, from...who knows). She said something that struck a chord - wanting to do something good or something better. I'm not sure which word she used but the gist was the same.

I left my jobs in sales for various reasons, even though there were aspects that I liked. I got fired from the last job (despite stellar numbers) and don't hold any hard feelings. I had known when I took the job that it was the wrong choice. Not because I didn't like the job or couldn't do it, but the mindset for what we were doing was inorganic and counter-intuitive. It didn't feel 'right' from the start. But things progressed, my numbers were good, and we eventually figured out I wasn't a good fit.

Being fired from that job was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It made me take a look at myself in bare light - no filters - and figure out what I needed to do. I had some underlying depression which was helped immensely when I started taking medication. I re-evaluated the kind of jobs I wanted to do. And I became a barmaid.

I became a barmaid at a dive bar of questionable taste and safety concerns. That turned out to be the best possible job for me at the time. Shortly after I worked my first few shifts I found out that my dad had liver cancer. I got to do a low pressure, high human contact job in a quirky environment. I made improvements there, in quality of service, quality of drinks, the general condition of the facility, and in hiring better staff, cutting lose the dead wood. The biggest improvement I made and can lay claim to alone, was cleaning out the drug dealers. I spent the first two months I was there throwing out drug dealers. Throwing dealers out continued during my time there but that initial bunch was the most challenging.

I did my job and tried to exert a positive influence in that place. Through my bright and friendly customer service, keeping the bar clean and stocked, cutting people off when they needed to be checked, making conversation as well as I made my drinks. The bar became a fun place to hang out, drink cheap, and have good conversation.

This thing is, though, the longer I spent watching Little John stagger out the back door (he lived in walking distance), the more I had to help Bookie Mike up the stairs to his apartment, the more I had to keep my lightning eye on the drinks, the doors, the customers, and the bouncer, that it was going to wear me down. Not in a physical sense, because I enjoyed the fast orders, no backup, and having the authority to run. I LOVED it.

But my dad was getting sicker and its weird what a grief process will do for you. I had practiced yoga inconsistently for a couple of years ad then more regularly during his illness. It was a hobby.

"You need to get out of that bar, " he said.
"I know, Dad. I will."

It was through him that I was able to complete teacher training. driving 200 miles roundtrip on the weekend. Doing the homework, attending classes, reading, reading, reading, and practicing more. But I completed the training and now I teach. And I taught at my local studio, gaining experience but not devoting all my time to it. Hobby-teaching.

Teaching has that thing I was searching for in the bar job. Sure, I enjoy teaching. But more than that, the act of teaching frees something else from me. There's a part of me that goes out into the class and lingers - in one stretch someone liked, that breathing exercise we talked about, and when something felt different than expected.

Whenever I leave these classes, I can tell - I can feel the palpable change I've brought in the room. Because of me, there's extra positive in their life for the next couple of hours. I see smiles and laughs when we're in uncomfortable positions. I see it in the smiles when everyone is gathering up to leave. And that makes me smile.

To me, it means that I'm making the change I want to see in the world. And what started out as a hobby, something I liked to do, is becoming a full-fledged business. I will get paid to make other people happy, using a method I really enjoy and endorse. That makes it a dream job, right? Sometimes that's how it feels. Especially so when, as late, people keep approaching me and asking me to do yoga for them because they'll pay me. My hobby has become a bona fide job.

I think my dad would be proud of what I'm doing. I'm not sure he would have taken one of my classes, but he would have been proud of the intent behind them and that it is me doing it, putting it out there, making a positive impact.

I'm thankful for that every single day.

My parents were interested enough when we were kids to be involved in coaching our sports teams. In second grade, my dad began coaching me in basketball. I was attending a private school in the city and they couldn't afford coaches, so he volunteered. And that's where my physical education began.

Dad taught me that sports were work. That exercise was work. Work felt good. There are good and bad points to this. The good: I learned the limits of my body through sports because I worked up to them all the time. I pushed hard, went all out. The bad: it took me longer than most to realize you don't have to go balls to the wall to get a workout. The best? It never occurred to me to wonder what I looked like when I was working out, because I was working, balls out.

It turns out that last lesson was the best thing that could have happened to me.

It seems like once every month or so, someone posts in yoga or yoga_lover about clothes to wear for practice. There are a variety of answers. Invariably lululemon comes up. In and of itself, lululemon isn't terrible, just indicative of the rest of the merchandising world (nike, adidas, Danskin, &c.). Attach the word 'yoga' to any article of clothing and you can automatically charge $30 more for it. Their clothes look great. They've got cute outfits that match. And that is so far from how my brain works that I can't quite wrap my head around it.

I work out to work, and it's a good thing I never got in the habit of trying to look cute while I worked out because it's impossible.  I learned this lesson in junior high, when I saw pictures of myself running track. White arms, white legs, damn near purple face. I warm up very quickly and I sweat. I sweat like a stuck pig over a blazing fire. My face gets very red, my clothes get soaked, and there's not a single aspect of it that's attractive.

The great news is that it's a lot less expensive for me to work out. I invest money in good sports bras and then pick up cheap tanks, tees, and sweats. My stuff doesn't match, nor do I care about it. The clothes I'm wearing are designed to soak up sweat and facilitate easy movement in my arms and legs. I've never tried picking someone up in the gym or looking good hoping to get picked up because, well, I'm not cute there. It frees me up to spend money on other things and focus on my workout.

I mean, matching outfits are nice if that's your thing. There are a lot of nice looking separates available. But given how my body works, it's unlikely I'm trying to wear ANYTHING 'from the gym to the street' and I just can't see spending $50 on a top that only sees the inside of the gym and gym bag. The fact that so many companies are capitalizing on the yoga trend to charge folks more money is disappointing, especially if beginners think they 'need' that sort of thing to be in a class.

One of my favorite aspects of yoga is that you really don't have to purchase any supplies - any number of things work as substitute props. No shoes, no special clothes, no special straps and blocks, and hell, if you've got a blanket, even the mat is optional. Unfortunately that's not the 'trendy' way to practice.

I'm going to start making my smoothies again. I'm about to be insanely busy with teaching and my coursework, so I'm going to need the early/mid-morning pick me up. First version (faster, no tofu) is here.

My class tonight was great - three of last week's guys returned, two ladies, and two brand new ladies. It is safe to say I kicked their asses with yoga. We did two slow rounds of Sun Salutations, two rounds with extended Down Dogs, extended side angle and bound side angle, pigeon, bound angle, head to knee, and some spinal twists. I threw in some flying angels for kicks. Everyone was sweating. It was excellent.

And I came home and made a smoothie. Flaxseed is a new ingredient for me and I'm liking it a lot. There is a bit of extra OJ in this one because I figured I'd just use the end of the container.

I'm looking forward to the running routine - Carly is going to take the challenge with me.

Due to the body changes, I'm in need of purchasing some new clothes. My pants size is smaller and I think my bra size has changed. I hate buying new clothes. Probably I can put it off for a while since I'm primarily wearing sports bras these days. Though I may need to invest in a few more given that I'll be teaching six days a week. Hm. I'll have to think about that.

I did a couple of miles yesterday at Powerhouse, in my spiffy new Five Fingers shoes. The treadmill was a little weird and because of the thin-soled nature of the shoe, I could feel where the board and belt were joining. It meant I had to run on the right 2/3 of the treadmill and was awkward. On the other hand, my calves, ankles, and feet are feeling the work today. I'm digging the shoes and not just because of the toe stretching. It feels like I'm running more quietly and I'm really liking the work forced into my calves.

I also found this site today which means that I'm going to start to work up to 5k distance. It's not huge and I'm already working some intervals but it'll be nice to have a goal to keep in mind. Between that, classes, and my teaching schedule, I should be plenty busy for the rest of the semester.

"Satisfaction lies in the effort, not the attainment; full effort is full victory." - Mahatma Gandhi

This falls in line with the adage of my dad (and other moms and dads worldwide) "If you're going to do something, do it to the best of your ability." It's how I work.

Not that long ago, I heard a student comment about one of the teachers at our studio "I don't get anything out of those classes."* It tweaked me for a couple of reasons. First, the student was actually referring to the "type" of classes (Yoga for Anybody) which I have also taught. Second, the student has been practicing long enough that I assumed she'd be familiar with what Gandhi is talking about.

Yoga is very process oriented. Your process is whatever you make it.

Not only do I teach the AB classes, but I attend them. The classes are tailored to the students in the room. Younger students (which is to say forties to sixties) attend my Wednesday class. Monday and Friday classes range from forties to mid-eighties. In the Monday and Friday classes, we do less work on the floor. ;) This is relevant because every time I attend one of these classes, I break a sweat. The next day I'm sore. And the difference is your process.

I tell each and every class that you can make each asana, in each class, as easy or as difficult as you want. It's all about muscles. Engaging more muscle makes the asana more active, more work. Engaging less muscle makes the asana more passive, more relaxing. Active and passive are not judgment terms, simply a reflection of the amount of work your body does.

Our studio typically starts classes with legs up the wall (Viparita Karani).** By its definition, it is a very relaxed and relaxing posture. But it doesn't have to be. Here's how:

Begin with legs, arms, abdominal muscles relaxed. Flex feet. Point your toes and then flex the foot as though you'd stand on it. Press out through the heels, try to draw the toes back toward the body. Keep the feet flexed and active, try to keep the heels pressing into the wall. Notice that it makes your calves work. Imagine you're going to lift your legs away from the wall, flexing the quadriceps (front of thighs) as though to make that motion, and keep the thighs active. You can do the kneecap test to see if it's working.***

Engage the abdominal muscles. Adjust your pelvic position- tilt the pelvis backward, trying to draw the tops of the hipbones toward the bottom of the ribcage. This lets your lower back press more firmly into the floor. You can also reverse this- tilt the pelvis forward. This recreates a natural arch in the lower back and changes how the stretch in the back of the legs feels. Keep the feet, legs, and abs active.

Extend the arms out into a T position, palms facing up. Keep the shoulderblades flat on the floor. You can engage the shoulders by trying to draw the shoulderblades toward one another- not a squeeze, just making them active. Reach out through the fingertips, stretching and widening the gaps between the fingers. If you want to make it more work, lift the backs of the hands slightly away from the floor. Keep the feet, legs, abs, arms, and hands active for a couple of breaths.

Then, with an exhale, relax all those muscles.

That is the difference. That's how you control your practice. That's how you decide to work. From the bottom up, every single time. I run through this exercise in each class because it doesn't seem to occur to a lot of folks. When a student tells me that they don't get anything out of a class, it tells me a lot about the student (and it also tells me about their previous teachers). If something isn't working for you, speak up- that's what we're here for. If something is painful, DON'T DO IT. Ask us for other options. We've got them. We practice ourselves and we got training, for that express reason.

One of the things I love about yoga is that it is a constant learning process. Every single day I learn something new about my body and how it works, or how I can make it work. I love that it is process oriented rather than goal oriented because I like the nuts and bolts of things. I also like that it helps you change how you think about things (see above asana) because that means you're not just learning but you're also learning about yourself and how you have limited your paradigms. That kind of learning makes us better people.





*I found out later that this student walked into a class that this particular teacher was subbing for, said, "Oh, you're teaching this." and walked out.

**We do this stretch without bolsters, so that the legs meet the wall as though you were sitting on it.

***Use your fingers to try and wiggle the kneecap from left to right. If you kneecap moves with some ease, you don't have the quadriceps engaged. If the kneecap doesn't wiggle, you've got the quads working.

Because, well, I talk about yoga here.

I generally recommend to people who are new(ish) to yoga and trying to work with a DVD:

Watch the video all the way through a couple of times while *not* doing it.

Watch a third time and listen for the visual/spatial cues. If there are any that sound confusing, try making a line drawing for the pose.

THEN practice with the DVD and try not to watch it at all. Have the line drawings on the floor near your mat for reference, but listen to the verbal cues and your body (and most importantly modify and take breaks as needed).

It sounds time-consuming but it increases the familiarity with any number of poses and transitions that will serve you well in other practice. I'm a believer that *watching* what you're supposed to do is going to throw you *more* out of whack. ;)